Is Age Really Just A Number???

Is age really just a number? I ask seeing as how some (including myself) like to point the finger and judge those who occasionally rob the cradle. I've always thought it was somewhat sick when a guy or especially a female hooked up with someone young enough to be their child or sibling. But as I've experience life, I find that putting down widely age gapped relationships down is really overrated. For instance, there was this ex of mine that was 16 and had/has a girlfriend in her 20s. I thought this was utterly insane and sick. But I guess that was just the jealousy in me...that's another story for another time. But anyway as I stalked her myspace (lol), I'd just stare at her and wonder what the hell does she want with a little boy, you know? Well although our relationship has ended, theirs has managed to keep going. And after the jealousy faded away, I started to realize that maybe it isn't a mental unbalance in the brain that brings decade differenced people together. Maybe they can actually click. Anyway speaking of my ex sort of brings the flip side to it all in it as well. You know, the "older man with younger chick normality". Ah, the old double standard of society. It's funny how I speak of it with such cold words when that's exactly how I saw the relationship of my ex with her, as utter sickness in the head on both parts. But like I said before as I've experienced life I can say I sort of get them in terms of omitting the age difference and really focusing on what's important....the connection. I once tried my luck with a guy 8 or 9 years older than me. Needless to say, we had one date and it was over (atleast it was when he was trying to talk to my little sister, even though we weren't going out...once again, another story for another day). I realized that things would never work out because we couldn't hold a conversation. It was just the outside which now makes me realize what he really wanted with a girl 9 years younger than him like me. Anywho, I find that it all boils down to connection. And no, I'm not saying that a "relationship" between a 40 year old and a 12 year old is fine (Now that's sick..). But as I was saying, the 26 year old and I couldn't hold a decent conversation. With no communication, we we're as good as Britney Spears' first marriage. We didn't connect at all. All of our interests were totally different and we were both at different stages in our lives. But then there are the few that can withstand. The few that can click, you know the kind that can finish each others' thoughts etc. But it all leads to the conclusion of Aaliyah's song was write; Age ain't nothin' but a number. It's all in the basis of connection and/or communication.

It's Like Drunken Terets Syndrome.

I wonder does anyone go through this. I'm talking about my uncle. When he gets drunk, he starts to yell (to himself). He talks really loud to himself and goes outside and yells. I've been wondering for years why he does this. My mom says it started after he got out the Army. She says he hasn't been the same since. Sometimes I feel all alone. I honestly think no one else goes through this except us. He's been doing this all my life and before. He lives with us. But that's a long story in itself. I feel bad because of how I'm leaving for basic training soon and that I'll have to leave her with the stupid shit that he does. Sometimes I question God and ask him why we have to be here with him when he does all that he does. It's weird because when he's sober, he's perfectly fine really. One would never guess that he could act the way he does. It's been worse lately because he's gotten to be really verbally abusive. I guess its this way now because he's bringing some type of income into the house. Before, he really wouldn't do or say too much because he wasn't really doing shit as far as something that's beneficial to us and the house. But now that he gets his veteran check and his ssi (which isn't too much of nothing by the way), he thinks he can say and do as he pleases. Hopefully with writing this, someone can comment with solutions or similar problems. It'd be greatly appreciated.

Has he tricked me again?

Maybe he got me again. Maybe this was his intention all along. Well, I’m talking about an ex. He says he loves me a few nights ago and I haven’t been able to sleep since. You see, I find my self staying up at night waiting for his text. I was never that way when we were friends. When we decided to be friends, I always felt that I was in control seeing as how he left me. But somehow he’s made me feel like the same little 17 year old girl I was over a year ago. Could it be possible that he had this planned all along? Or could it be that he expects me to be all over his jock just because he says the three magical words. It’s harder to decipher between whether he’s truthful or not. Any other person would or should I say, is saying that it’s a load of shit. I of all people should know it’s bullshit because of how he hurt me before. But I guess the “Cinderella Syndrome” in me just won’t accept it for what it really is, bullshit. I guess I just don’t what to face the music because of how I really loved him. And somehow I’m still foolish enough to do so, love him that is. I think it’s because of those feelings and syndromes alone that makes me feel the way I do. It’s weird because whatever I asked him, he didn’t take long to answer which is a way to tell that someone isn’t lying. I asked him a few days later did he mean all that he say that night and I said yeah he did. I’ve waited so long for him to say the things that he said like “I love you” or “I’ve always loved you” just so I could turn him down cold like he did me. But I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be as cruel as he was to me. All I could say is that I loved him back, that the feeling was mutual. Maybe he’s just toying with my heart again and I just blindly fell for his tricks once again. Maybe I knew it all along and didn’t care because I like him so. Or is the ball in my court now because I caught on this time? Or am just as foolish and little as I was when this happened before. Sex and the city rocks. I don’t think I’d of ever thought this through and realized his tricks if I hadn’t started to watch this show lol.